The man who created the evil twin statue of Cristiano Ronaldo, which will adorn the airport named after the striker in his homeland, is fed up. The sculptor had enough of the jokes that say that his statue is the catfish to Ronaldo’s Tinder profile picture. He’s incensed at the suggestions that a bust that he worked on for three years came out looking like Lionel Messi had paid him off to make Ronaldo look as ugly and as deranged as possible.
Speaking out against criticisms that his hard work made Ronaldo look like a 2-year-old’s drawing of the monster in the closet, Emanuel Santos said: “It is impossible to please the Greeks and Trojans. Neither did Jesus please everyone. This is a matter of taste, so it is not as simple as it seems. What matters is the impact that this work generated. There is always the possibility of making a difference, I was prepared for all this. I used as a base some photos of Cristiano Ronaldo that I found on the internet, nothing specific. I put the photos next to me and started working on the bust.”
He’s right, it is impossible to please the Greeks and Trojans. They were at war. They were trying to kill each other. Santos wasn’t tasked with bringing back Helen of Troy, avenging Hector, or building a giant wooden horse that looked like a gift but would later prove fatal to the Trojans. He was asked to make a statue of Ronaldo that looked like the man. Instead, he made a statue of Ronaldo that looks like Achilles had dragged it around Troy for 12 days.
He is also right that Jesus didn’t please everyone. That’s partially why Jesus was apprehended, beaten, spit on, and then crucified. The assertion here is that if the most perfect of beings could not please the masses, what chance does our dear Emanuel, a lone sculptor, have at that impossible task? He is only a man. A man who only wanted to create a likeness of his city’s greatest sportsman.
But no one asked Emanuel to lead us into the light. He wasn’t being asked to teach the world of kindness, grace, and mercy. Nor was he asked to forgive the sins of naturally sinful humans and then to give his life for their eternal souls. Jesus wasn’t there to please everyone. In terms of doing his job of enlightening the people, he did it quite well. Unlike our dear Emanuel here, who was only asked to make a statue that resembled its subject. His one job. What he did instead was make a statue that looks like an 80-year-old’s attempt at restoring a fresco of Jesus.
This is a matter of taste and it seems pretty straightforward. The Ronaldo statue looks like it was just caught having dinner with a woman that’s not his wife on an episode of Cheaters. It looks like it is making the same “trying really hard not to cry” face that the kid who was asked if he was going to miss his mother when he goes to school made.
Credit to Emanuel though, the statue has made an impact. It gave birth to a week’s worth of memes on Twitter. Had he not made a statue of Ronaldo that looked like it was just told that it was being fired a few days after its wife left it, who knows what we would be doing for jokes? Making fun of the other statue that gives Ronaldo an eternal hard-on?
I have to say though, I’m a big fan of comparing yourself to Jesus in order to deal with the criticism of your work. If I made a statue that looked like Jim Carrey trying to tell a lie in Liar Liar, I would have no choice but to do the same.