Lionel Messi and Luis Suárez appeared in TV in Uruguay and we learned something very interesting about the pair.
There’s nothing functionally wrong with this technique. Seriously. OK, this is a judgement-free zone, right? Is it? OK cool. I’ll often pee sitting down in the middle of the night, because the alternate option is turning on the bathroom light and I don’t need that brightness in my life.
I also wouldn’t trust my aim in the dark when I’m sleepy, which coincidentally is also my theory on why people should only buy shotguns to protect themselves from intruders.
So Messi and Suárez both pee sitting down. They’re also two of the best players in the world. So by the law of transitive properties: Peeing sitting down makes you good a sports. Try to dispute this logic.
Here’s a full transcript of the conversation:
Host: Do you sit or stand when you pee?
Suarez: I sit down.
Messi: Me too!
Host: Don’t tell me that you actually sit down to pee?!
Messi: It’s more comfortable. You get up in the morning still sleepy and …
Host: But that way it splashes back on you!
Messi: No, just point it down. For sure.
Host: Well, so sitting down it is then.
Messi: It’s not really necessary to know that though.
Host: Yeah, but it’s just that we asked Suarez about this. Do you also pee sitting down in the changing room?
Messi: No! You can’t. There’s just a urinal to pee standing up — but you can always lock yourself in the toilet.
Host: Yes, but if you lock yourself in there everyone will suspect you’re pooping.